John Banville, David Mitchell, and getting shaken-down in Egypt, Ireland and Canada
Part I: The Shakedown
Warning: this post contains colourful photographs and even more colourful language.
My recent Backstories have gone unreported for far too fucking long. Last time out was way back in January. My excuse is that life has been really hectic and interesting over the past few months (year for that matter), and I've been busy living it, not writing about it. Not the way I want things, because, as readers who are writers will know, writing about one’s life only makes it richer and more enjoyable. More memorable.
Today’s story takes place mostly in Ireland but starts in Egypt because I need to vent about getting shaken-down (there by hoteliers, in Ireland by lawyers, and in Canada by bankers), and to make a larger more serious point about democracy.
Prior to going to Ireland I had occasion to be sitting in the lobby of the Sentido Akassia Beach Hotel in Marsa Alam. The bartender in the adjoining bar invited me over for a drink. I won't get into details (you can check out the livid commentary on TripAdvisor for that) but, the guy's name was Tamer. He showed me a professional-looking binder full of photos showcasing this handsomely equipped cabana on the beach.
After inspection I decided to rent it - US$200 for the day. He drew me up a receipt at the nearby beach bar, and introduced me to the hotel manager, who by chance was standing close by. He congratulated me on my unparalleled negotiating skills.
Fast forward to checkout time 4am a few days later, and:
"Sir, there's an unpaid bill for 188 Euros on your room. You'll need to pay it before we let you get on the bus to the airport. "
"There must be some mistake," I calmly retorted, showing the desk clerk my receipt.
"No," he insisted. “You haven’t paid the bill.”
Tamer was called to reception. He lied to my face in front of a crowd of excited colleagues who’d gathered ‘round. I hadn't paid him, he said.
I asked to speak with the resort manager, the guy who'd congratulated me on my bargaining prowess. They handed me the phone.
"No," he said. I believe my bartender, you owe us the money.
I paid, and got on the bus.
A four star-resort where management lies, and blackmails you? I know it's only $200 (US) but I'll never visit that shit-hole again. May never, in fact, return to Egypt, despite
all of
the
very
cool statues at Karnak, and
funky
hieroglyphics
in the
This behavior tarnishes not only the Sentido Akassia Beach, but the reputation of an entire country. A society based on lies isn't one I'm keen to live in. Or visit.
Now on to Ireland, Banville, Mitchell, the Irish lawyer who "helped" me cash in an investment (okay, mostly him), and a continuation of my angry screed.
If you want to get money out of Ireland you have to retain an Irish lawyer. No choice. The government’s made it mandatory. I ended up paying the gentleman I had to hire 10,000 euros for cashing in a mutual fund. And that’s not all. The Irish government? They took three times that, despite my brother never having lived anywhere near the bloody emerald isle in his life. He just made the mistake of buying a mutual fund from Irish Life.
At least when I got shafted in Egypt the government didn’t act as an accomplice. In Ireland, larceny has been legalized. Of course, this doesn't apply to Apple, Google, HP, IBM, Facebook, Linkedin, Twitter, or Pfizer, all of whom have headquarters in the country. They get the opposite treatment, paying low or no taxes while avoiding them at home where they sell product and/or have employees benefitting from local government services. It just applies to the tiny and helpless.
And the shaking-down doesn't stop in Eire. I bank with CIBC in Canada (you know, the country where the rich don't invest in their own industries, put their money in jurisdictions where returns are higher and taxes are lower, and round it all back up at home before they die so they can pass it down tax-free to the next undeserving generation ). When the pared-down proceeds from my brother's investment made their way over the Atlantic, CIBC took more than $5000 on the exchange before the money made it into his estate account.
There’s no such thing as consumer protection in Canada.
Because "democratically" elected governments are in the pockets of the rich - business oligarchies, aided by politicians, lawyers, bankers and accountants, are able to get away with this shit. I believe in capitalism, but today’s happy, inhuman- faced, life-blind untrammeled brand, where the pig-greedy ruling class is allowed to rape and rip-off the patsy plebeian - hard and repeatedly - all with government approval, goes too far.
Eventually the raped and ripped-off will get fed-up, and cotton-on. They’ll start listening to fucked-up wannabe dictators who spout bogus, simplistic, racist bullshit solutions to all their problems. When wannabes, who are usually bank-rolled by constituents of the piggish 1%, assume power, carnage will ensue. Like in the French Revvie.
Let the people think they govern, and they will be governed.
William Penn, 1693
Okay. Enough colourful language. Now on to Ireland, and, oh yea, Banville and Mitchell, and the pictures, and Dublin
Part II coming right up. Please stay tuned (the language is un-colourful, I promise).